So many successful people credit their sense of self and their confidence to their success. But not many people really explain how to build confidence, or how to become confident. It's tricky, because confidence is built on different things, but overall it is built on choices and accomplishments that feed your passion, and that make you feel happy and proud of who you are. Discovering these things is one of the most worthwhile pursuits of you life. Here are 10 ways you can begin building your confidence:
1. Get Things Done
Confidence is built on accomplishment. If you achieve small and big goals, you're going to feel much better about yourself. It begins with your day-to-day goals, what do you need to accomplish today, and every day this week or three days this week to help meet your goal? If you accomplish the goals you set for every day, chances are you will begin meeting weekly and monthly goals, which brings you in range of your bi-annual and annual goals. Keep in mind that progress is incremental, and big changes do not happen overnight. You're going to feel like you can take a big project, and set an ambitious goal because you believe you can meet it. Set a goal for yourself, and go for it.
2. Monitor Your Progress
The best way to reach your goals, big or small, is break them into smaller goals and to monitor your progress. Whether you're trying to get promoted, get a better job, get into graduate school, change careers, eat healthier or lose 10 pounds, the best way to know if you're making progress is to monitor it. Try to quantify your accomplishments: the number of applications you're submitting to jobs or graduate schools, what you're eating and how much you're exercising, write down whatever your goal may be. It will help you stay on course, and you will build confidence as you see the progress you're making in real time.
3. Do The Right Thing
Most confident people live by a value system and make their decisions based on that value system, even when it's hard and not necessarily in their best interest, but in the interest of the greater good. Your actions and your decisions define your character. Ask yourself what the best version of yourself that you aspire to be would do, and do it. Even when it's really hard and it's the last thing you want to do and it means a short-term sacrifice on your part, in the long run you're going to like yourself more and be prouder of who you are.
4. Exercise
Besides benefiting your health in general, exercising helps memory retention, improves focus, helps manage stress and prevents depression. It's harder to be anxious when there is no excess energy to draw upon, and outside of being difficult uncomfortable at times, exercise improves every aspect of your life. So stay active, and create time to take of yourself.
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5. Be Fearless
Failing isn't your enemy, it's fearing failure that truly cripples you. If you set big goals and have big dreams, you're going to feel overwhelmed, and you're inevitably going to feel like you can't do it. In those moments you have to look inside yourself, and gather every ounce of courage you have and just keep going. Every single wildly successful person has been afraid, and they've kept working and taking risks anyway, because what they are trying to accomplish is more important and urgent than their fear they will fail. Think about how much you want to achieve your goal, then put your fear to the side, and keep going, one day at a time.
6. Stand-up For Yourself
When your goal, project, etc. is in its early stages, and someone says that your goal is stupid, or that you can not do it, it's tempting to believe them because they're joining the chorus of doubts inside your head. Logically you think, "How can I be right when this person and all these doubts in my head are telling me I can't do this? That this idea is stupid." And you have to tell those people, especially the voices in your head, that they're wrong. You have it in you, so tell them you believe in your goal, you believe in yourself, so you're going to accomplish it. There's a great line in 10 Things I Hate About You, when Joseph Gordon-Levitt is about to give up his pursuit of Larisa Oleynik, and Heath Ledger gives him a pep talk, ending it with,"Don't let anyone, ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want."
7. Follow Through
People respect people when they say they're going to do something and they do it. More importantly, you will respect yourself if you say you're going to do something and you do it, and belief in yourself will come easier, because you know you are not afraid of the work. Action gives your words meaning, and it will help you pave a path to accomplishing your goals, strengthening your relationships and feeling proud of who you are.
8. Think Long-term
The foundation of unhappiness is decisions made for short-term comfort that impede long-term goals: if you're trying to save money, you can't go out to eat as much, if you're studying for the GMAT or LSATs you can't go out with friends as often, if you're trying to lose weight, you can not eat french fries often, etc. Big goals require big sacrifices, you have to dig deep and really discipline yourself. In the moment it is tedious and frustrating and makes life significantly harder, but it will pay off, and the pride you feel will be worth it. You have to decide if your short-term comfort is more important than your long-term goals, but know that long-term goals will bring you far more happiness in the long run than your short-term comfort.
9. Don't Care What Others Think
There are going to be so many people who will tell you you can not accomplish your goal. Whether is it rejection from employers, schools, or just negative feedback from friends or family, people will try to tell you your goal is too big, or that you're not ready, or that you can't do it, that it's never been done before, etc., and you absolutely can not listen to them. You must be resolute. While they tell you the odds are against you, etc., just remember most people are wrong about most things. People change the world every day, despite everyone around them telling them it can't be done. If you think you can do it, you can it. Don't listen to them, believe in yourself and keep going.
10. Do More Of What Makes You Happy
What do you love to do in your spare time? Is it to get outside, hike, kayak and enjoy the outdoors? Or do you live for lying on your couch and watching all the excellent television that's available? Whatever it is you love, create space for it, because life is short- you need time to enrich your life and to recharge to be your best self.
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